Remembrance
by LaineL0viXo
Summary: "This wasn't fair, she was supposed to live longer. But then again, what was really fair...?"


**_This was something I wrote quite some time ago to heal my writer's block. Although I have no idea why I'd written something so sad, it was still something I wanted to upload :")_**

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"Daddy, where are we going?" Joanna spoke in a tiny voice from behind me. I turned around and smiled at her. Getting down to her level, I noticed just how many similarities she held of the person I loved. It was her birthday and not the very best day of my life but I had been trying very hard to make peace with the fact.

"We… are going to your mother." I said, trying my best to sound calm. Her lilac-purple eyes were full of anticipation. A smile graced her pink lips, "Do I look nice? I want to look my best for her." She questioned, turning around in a circle.

"You look lovely. Come on now, we'll be late. She must be waiting." I hurried on to the door, Jo waddled behind me. Looking at her tiny little body, no one would say she's completed six today.

"My feet hurt." She exclaimed and sat stubbornly on the floor. I turned around and crossed my arms over my chest. Such were times when she displayed Chelsea's attitude. She resembled her a lot. In ways that made me miss her like crazy. I went up to her and picked her up, her weight barely noticeable to me.

I walked out of the house and then out the farm property. Silently, I reached the much emptier places of the island. Expectedly enough, I saw Felicia standing and sobbing silently to herself. Ever since Taro had died, she was a complete mess. Joanna, of course, had to question-

"Why is Felicia crying?" She asked in a whisper and clung to me tightly.

"She's missing Taro." I said, Jo was big enough to be told the truth. I would never try to keep things from her. Especially, when it would come to Chelsea. I went up to Chelsea's _grave_ and stood still. An unbearable lump had already formed in my throat.

"Don't you miss mom, daddy." She asked, making me unable to answer. I nodded, my tears threatening to flow out. Every time I thought Chelsea was gone my head would stop working, my tears would start flowing and everything would seem like a numbed haze. The current that electrocuted through my heart would stop me from breathing. God I missed her, and I'd give anything to look at her face again. The way she smiled, her deep blue eyes, the innocence on her pretty face; it was still hard to believe she was gone…

"_Hey, hey, hey, Chelsea. Wake up! Now!" I yelled at her unmoving body, desperate to see her move. Someone placed a hand on my shoulder from behind. I looked up, furious and desperate, to see Julia crying. Why was she crying? Chelsea would be just fine. _

"_Vaughn, Chelsea's not coming back." She sobbed silently, her eyes closed. How did she have the courage to say that!? She'd be fine. How could she not? We now had a baby girl to take care of. _

"_Shut up Julia. Just fucking shut up, alright? Don't you dare tell stupid things." I shouted at her loudly, my voice echoing the room. When the words hit her, she cried loudly, running away from the room. I shook her harder, too numb to even care about anyone else. She had to wake up, I couldn't spend one minute without her. I knew she'd wake up, although the heart monitor said otherwise and so did the fucking doctor. _

_Certain things started making their way in my mind, making me lose my grip on Chelsea. I stood, not in my right mind at all. Walking out of the room, I had no idea where I was going. I saw Julia crying as she sat on one of the chairs, her eyes so red that it hurt to look at her. I went and sat beside her, a look of shock covering my face as I started believing the doctor's words. 'She's gone' 'There was too much pain' 'I'm sorry, Vaughn, she's dead.' His words swirled around my head in a circle. I had no idea what I looked like from the outside because Julia was now shaking me hard, asking me to say something. _

_I knew one thing, my soul was crumbling slowly; piece by piece. I didn't want to live anymore, I didn't want to believe anyone. Shock was now transforming into several emotions, none of them too friendly. I laid my head on Julia's shoulder, tears staining my face._

"_I can't take it, Jules. Kill me, please." I begged silently, closing my eyes and refraining myself from ripping my hair off. Julia didn't reply, didn't try to console me because she knew my condition might only worsen. The life in my hands was slowly fading away, my consciousness blurring with pain. I only wanted to die with shock then…_

"Hey mom, it's my birthday. How are you?" Jo's innocent voice piped in to bring me back to the reality. She had no idea what pain her mother had gone through while trying to give birth to her, and finally she'd lost her life. But we had that coming, and Chelsea made me promise that I'd love our child without any regrets. But my regret alone would never be enough to fill that space where Chelsea once was. Living without her was worse than hell. I had long stopped thinking about this in detail, just for my own sake. Or else I would've ripped my head out by now.

"She says she's fine, Daddy. She misses us." Jo looked at me and smiled consolingly. _Of course she did, how could she not?_

Just then, Felicia came over and asked for Joanna. She meant for me to spent time with Chelsea. Jo went to her happily and waved me goodbye. When she was gone, I kneeled down and kept the flowers I'd brought for her. Her favorite ones.

"Chelsea, you can't possibly know how much I'm missing you right now. I wish you were here." A tear made its way down my cheek. "I'm just so… lost. I don't like not feeling you with me. I wish you could know Joanna, she's just like you. Everything about her reminds me of you. And I also found the letters you'd secretly kept for her. The ones you wrote for me were pretty hard to take in but I'm glad you did. Chelsea, I know you're listening and I want you to know that I love you." My voice was caught up in my throat then, no more words were allowed out anymore. I supported myself on one kneeled leg and put my head on the other. Just then someone tapped me on the shoulder from the front, I looked up to see Joanna smiling at me.

"Daddy let's go home. Time for the cake you made remember? Mom would like to eat them too." Jo was back from Felicia. I looked at my watch; '9:15 am' it said.

"Of course I do. But you'll have to wait till everyone comes over, it's too early." I got up and turned around, ready to go home.

"Okay." She said, then quietly walked over to Chelsea and took out a small chit from her pocket. She unfolded it and then folded it back again before keeping it weighed beneath the flowers. She turned to me, "Let's go daddy." Her smile not as bright as always.

I picked her up, curious to know what exactly was there in that note, "What was that?" I asked.

"Um… a-a note for mom, don't open it please." She pleaded with a face, making me chuckle at her innocence.

"I won't." I promised, getting a bright and wide grin from her.

"You're the best daddy in the world." She giggled, reminding me of Chelsea…

"And you're the best daughter, Jo. Your mother would've been so proud of you." I kissed her forehead, now noticing that Jo was crying. She was sobbing quietly, her nose red and she wasn't daring to look up. "Hey hey angel, what is it? Don't cry. Daddy's here, see." I took her face in my hands, trying to stop her from crying.

"I-I saw you c-crying daddy. I-I don't like it w-when you cry." She choked the words out and looked at me. I hated to see Joanna cry like this. And now, it was because of me. Sometimes, I wanted to bang my own head for being so stupid.

"Alright. We're gonna go home and have the best birthday ever, okay?" I said and she nodded. "Now you're not gonna cry because it's your birthday. You don't want people asking you questions, do you?" I explained and she shook her head, so as to say 'no.'

"I'm strong daddy so I won't cry. Just like mom." She said and pulled out another piece of paper from her pocket. This time she let me read it saying that she'd taken Julia's help to write but the words belonged to her. She'd made two just in case one would get lost. The handwriting was Julia's, long and slanting.

'_Dear mummy,  
I don't know how to write a letter, Aunt Julia helped me. But I don't even know where to send it to you. Daddy says he misses you. I miss you. Everyone does. But mummy, please come back if you can. Everybody has a mummy, I don't. I won't complain, but I think I really love you mummy. We have not met each other but I love you just as much as daddy does. He says you were the strongest person ever and that you were his superhero. From now on, you are my superhero too. See mummy, even when you are not here, you are everybody's hero. I love you mummy, come back for me.'_

_I love you Chelsea, come back for me._

This wasn't fair, she was supposed to live longer. But then again, _what_ was really fair...?

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**_Don't kill me yet, the word 'remembrance' was a writing prompt and this was all that came in my mind. And I know it's horribly written..:"( Strange things a single prompt can do huh? ;")_**


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